


Do not dream of me

by naanad



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, IgNoct, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 03:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14071920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naanad/pseuds/naanad
Summary: I received an ask about my thoughts on Ignis and Noctis’s relationship - first kiss, and so on. I absolutely adore these characters, and I just really want them to be happy… But in my personal opinion, within the canon FFXV universe and storyline, theirs would not be a very happy tale. Still, I hope you’ll enjoy this exploration of their feelings throughout the years.





	Do not dream of me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Square Enix. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ignis rammed his practice polearm into the dirt and leapt to the side just as Gladio swung his greatsword down, precisely as he anticipated. His elbow connected with Gladio’s back, sending him toppling forward and sailing over the polearm.

“Ugh, that was totally cheating.” Gladio grunted into the dirt.

“Lies and slander. I would do no such thing.” Ignis smiled slyly as he dipped to give the Shield a hand up.

Gladio’s eyes darted over Ignis’s shoulder and he grimaced. “Ignis, can you, like, do something about him? This whole making  _‘come hither’ eyes_ at each other thing has gone on long enough, and frankly, it makes me feel like a dirty old pervert to even be in the same room.”

“I do not  _make eyes_ …” he huffed. “And either way, Noct has shown no interest in pursuing anything with me.”

Gladio snorted. “Don’t look, lover boy, but his Highness is literally swooning over you  _right now._ ”

Like a true master of stealth, Ignis immediately made to whip his head around, but Gladio stopped him.

“Shit, I told you not to- OK, just follow my lead.” He beckoned him closer, and then whacked Ignis’s practice dagger out of his hand.

Ignis scrunched his brow in annoyance, already preparing a lecture.

“You should probably pick that up. Slowly.” Gladio gave him a meaningful look.

A light bulb went off in Ignis’s brain and he snorted. “Oh, you are a dirty old man.” His grin was sharp.

If anything, this would at least put their age-old argument to rest, and Gladio would finally drop the continued badgering regarding his feelings for Noctis. There would be no reaction on the prince’s behalf, and at the very least, he’d get to trip Gladio again for bringing up a sore subject.

Ignis leaned forward and bent sinuously at his waist to reach for the dagger, drawing himself up fluidly. He flipped the practice blade deftly from end to end, and fixed his gaze on the prince. “You’re next, Noct.”

Noctis went bright red from his collar to his hairline. He sputtered briefly, and Ignis felt uneasiness growing in his gut.

“I, uh, I would, but I just remembered I had something else I was supposed to do. We’ll, um, do that tomorrow.” And then Noctis was gone from the training yard so quickly that Ignis wouldn’t have been surprised if he actually warped out.

Ignis looked to Gladio.

“On the ‘Into You Scale,’ I’m gonna go with,  _he definitely wants to drill your ass into the nearest mattress seven ways ‘till Sunday_.”

“Language.”

“Tight-ass.”

“I do try.”

“I should talk to him,” Ignis said gravely.

He loved Noct, deeply, irrevocably. Like the dawn, he woke a vibrant world inside of Ignis each and every time Noctis blessed him with a brilliant smile, complimented him, or simply asked how he was doing. They had learned and grown together; he’d watched him mature, and guided him through his most difficult times. They were two sides of the same coin. Sure, the prince had a long way to go, but Ignis was incredibly proud of the man Noctis had become.

One would think Ignis should be ecstatic to know that Noctis may feel something toward him.

But in reality, the knowledge was a vicious, stabbing thing that shredded his heart to pieces… It sparked dangerous thoughts of them happy together - that there might’ve been hope for him in another world.

But that was not this world.

He was not so naive to believe they could have a happy ending.

Gladio hummed in the affirmative. “You should probably wash up first. Give him some time to cool off.”

<<>>

Noctis was still trying to master the fine art of breathing when a knock came at his door.

_Fuck._

It had to be Gladio, raring to give him shit about skipping practice. He had to know he was in here. If he took too long to answer, his Shield would use his spare key, for sure.

He was rapidly flipping through his mental list of small places Gladio did not know he could still hide in when he registered Ignis’s voice.

“Noct, are you home?”

_Oh, Gods._

His stomach did an unhelpful little flip, and he cleared his throat.  _Get yourself under control,_ he chastised himself. “Yeah, one sec!”

Noctis hoisted himself off the floor and opened the door. “Specs,” he greeted.

Ignis nodded his greeting and brushed past him as he let himself in. The contact sent a rush of electricity soaring through his nerves the way licking an electrified fence might. Ignis’s touches always had that effect ever since he was around sixteen, except now it was way,  _way_  worse.

And that  _look_  today… it was almost like Ignis wanted him, too. He thought he’d seen it directed at him before when Ignis thought he wasn’t looking.

But that’s the thing; Noctis was always looking.

He brushed it off previously as his own depraved mind casting his feelings on Ignis, latching onto anything that might affirm he felt the same. But today was different. There was no mistaking it.

There had been an invitation in that look, signed and addressed.

“I thought I’d stop by and make something special for dinner tonight. I’ve been meaning to try out this new recipe, if you’ll agree to be my guinea pig.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure. Sounds great. I love guinea pigs.” Ignis chuckled and Noctis followed him into the living room.

The food was delicious, even if he suspected there were vegetables mixed in somewhere.

“I found this movie I thought you’d like - wanna stay and watch?” Noctis rose from the table and flipped through the menu on his television.

“That sounds wonderful.” Ignis smiled serenely.

They settled down on the couch as the opening theme started, and Noctis took up his usual space leaning against Ignis. Ignis’s first instinct was always to throw an arm around Noctis to get comfortable, but he tensed halfway through the gesture.

“Noct,” he began hesitantly. “Do you have…”

Noctis turned to look up at him when Ignis trailed off, and his eyes were so big, and beautiful, steely-blue, and full of feeling.

_Blast it all! Why did this have to be so hard? Just say it, Ignis raged at himself internally. Do you have feelings for me?_

“Do you have any popcorn?”

Noctis slid off him, looking confused as Ignis retreated to the kitchen.

Ignis looked through the cabinets and cursed himself. He dug his thumb and forefinger into the corners of his eyes.

He was Noctis’s advisor. That was his  _job_ , which he should be doing  _right now_  by convincing Noctis they must distance themselves from this sort of thing.

But how could he be so boldly hypocritical when he couldn’t even convince himself?

He knew the exact moment Noctis appeared at his back. Ignis was always very aware of his nearness.

“Iggy.” Noctis’s voice was like the wind through leaves at sunrise. Waves rolling against the shore.

Ignis turned to face him, and he was standing so close.

“Yeah, I do.”

And then he was kissing Ignis, one hand gently cupped around his sharp jaw, the other resting lightly on his abdomen.

Noctis could tell the moment Ignis’s brain short-circuited and went through an emergency restart, but then he was _kissing Noctis back_.  

Noctis’s head swam as Ignis’s deft fingers combed through his hair, and then Ignis was taking charge, guiding them so that Noctis was against the wall, instead. A thrill went up his spine and he raked his nails against Ignis’s sides. He’s wanted this for so long. And now he had it, but how much time did they really have? How long until their duties came rumbling in like a freight train and ripped them apart? He felt tears prick his eyes, and he deepened the kiss to keep the thoughts at bay. Ignis moaned softly into his mouth and Noctis gasped.

As the future king of Lucis, Noctis could have anything he wanted, except for this - the one thing he desired most. His role as a leader weighed heavy on his chest, splintering ribs and crushing his lungs, his heart. He just wanted to be happy, and his happiness was directly connected to his proximity to Ignis.

_His soulmate._

He rested his head on Ignis’s chest as they drew deep breaths together in the loaded silence of his kitchen.

Noctis could tell Ignis was thinking a hole through the top of his skull, so he led them back to the couch. Ignis came willingly.

“How long?” Noctis asked, nuzzling his face into the crook of Ignis’s neck.

Ignis wrapped both arms around him and pressed his cheek to Noctis’s hair. “Always.”

Noctis burrowed deeper against him, and they forgot about the movie, altogether.

Some time later, Noctis must have dozed off because Ignis was nudging him awake. “You should go to bed Noct, you’ve got a meeting first thing tomorrow.”

He ushered Noctis to his room and brushed his bangs from his face with a tenderness Ignis never allowed himself to show before.

“You won’t stay?” Noctis asked blearily.

Ignis shook his head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“M’kay. Love you.”

Ignis’s breath was punched out of him.

His whole body trembled with those words as he placed one more kiss to the prince’s forehead, and then left the apartment.

Once in the privacy of his own flat, Ignis let himself crumble, the anguish surmounting until it was a towering thing that swayed unsteadily and cast a sinister shadow over him, threatening to crush him the moment he so much as breathed wrong. He lashed out, sending papers, books, pens, flying off his desk.

And then he slid down the wall to wail into his clenched fists.

_Why?_

_Why did it have to be this way?_

He’d dreamed of it so many times; poisoned his mind with what could’ve been, and allowed himself to imagine the possibilities. If they were literally anyone else, this would not be a problem. They could love each other, unapologetically. Marry, perhaps purchase a home together, adopt a child who they’d love unconditionally. A dog, or a cat, too. They’d work and enjoy life like any other regular citizen of Insomnia.

But here he was, And here he would remain. Ever present at Noctis’s side as he went through life, and forged a path forward with his future queen who could give him heirs.

Maybe they’d only steal hasty kisses in the shadows when no one was around, his dirty little secret.

<<>>

Ignis drank too much coffee for his own good, but he needed the caffeine after the restless night he’d had.

Noctis kissed him again when they went back to his apartment at the end of the day, and told him he loved him again.

It seemed like Noct was on a mission. They both knew they were essentially straddling a thin line, a threshold where the future was descending on them like the eye of a hurricane. Noct wanted to make the most of their time, and Ignis wouldn’t argue with that. He told Ignis he loved him every chance he got.

‘I love you,’ he traced the words on Ignis’s back with a finger as they cradled each other on the couch, said it with his actions as he removed Ignis’s glasses when he dozed off after a long day, papers still stacked on his lap.

He said it for no particular reason at all while Ignis cooked, he said it when they came back from a formal event and Ignis showed him just how much he appreciated Noct in a suit with his cock in his mouth. He whispered it against Ignis’s hip, and when he kissed his palms reverently.

He said it on the cusp of sleep, and when they saw each other again in the mornings.

He said it with tears in his eyes, and he said it buried deep inside Ignis, shouting and panting wetly against his neck.

It lasted over a year and a half like that, and sometimes they were even able to forget that with each passing day, they continued to march toward the moment it would all have to end.

Sometimes they were frantic - all hands, and teeth, and nails, and skin slapping against skin as they fucked like their lives depended on it.

But more often, they were gentle gasps, shy smiles, pulse thrumming like the wings of a dove as they held each other and placed lips, feather-light to fingertips, foreheads, and noses.

And then the day came when he and Noctis were called to hold an audience with King Regis.

Niflheim was coming, and they would bring with them a peace treaty under the condition that Noctis be wed to Lady Lunafreya.

Ignis asked Noctis to stop saying he loved him after that.

It hurt too much to hear it fall from his lips when he knew that whatever they’d built between them would be utterly destroyed, and so soon. They needed the distance if he was to carry out his responsibilities, and Ignis was not so selfish that he would purposely sabotage his lover’s marriage. He did not resent Lady Lunafreya. Not at all. He knew this day would come. If not her, then it would have only been someone else. At least he knew and respected Luna.

They left for Galdin Quay, and Noctis held his tongue, their home was destroyed, and he held his tongue. They didn’t say they loved each other in words, but it was difficult to let habits die. A lingering hand on his shoulder, on his cheek. How many times had they leaned forward into the other’s space, eyes alight, only to jump back as if burned?

Ignis was very good at being quiet when his emotions got the best of him and his tears wracked his body at night.

They stayed close at all times, but slept at opposite sides of the tent. They carried out their duties, made the pilgrimage to collect the royal arms, joked with their friends. Ignis lost his sight trying to protect Noctis, Luna was murdered, Prompto was kidnapped by Ardyn.

Noctis was devoured by the Crystal and turned into fodder to fulfill his destiny as a martyr.

Ten years passed.

Ignis trained, researched, fished, and waited.

Noctis returned, placed his hand on Ignis’s shoulder, and told him he loved him one last time. Noctis had a beard, now. Ignis felt the coarse hairs under his palm.

A final kiss. Soft, yet passionate. One more goodbye. The final knife through his heart.

And then they walked out into the dark.

And brought back the light.


End file.
